


I'm Not Scared Of Love

by wildelanapearls



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cutesy, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, I Tried, Jealous Liam, M/M, No Sex, No Smut, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Liam, Pining Liam, Pining Zayn, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-05 04:31:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17912075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildelanapearls/pseuds/wildelanapearls
Summary: "Show me Liam... teach me." Z murmurs, and Liam almost gives in, hearing his breathy voice. "...you must have practice... no one can resist you.. teach me your ways." Zayn continues in the same low voice, coming closer, beginning to corner Liam against the head-board, reminding Liam very much of a predator stalking it's prey."Not even you?" Liam jokes... well, tries to joke. And if his voice almost gives out in between... and if he thinks he briefly sees Zayn's eyes light up, well, no one has to know that.."Or.. the Ziam one shot in which Zayn is pining, Liam is oblivious, jealous and pining, and with a wee bit of sexual tension, "forever" ensues. (Inspired by the very much canon 'Come on then, come on' ziam incident)





	I'm Not Scared Of Love

Liam pulls some of the plain, white quilt provided by the hotel, away from Zayn, and towards himself, quietly side-eyeing Zayn, who is still swaddled in majority of the huge blanket; the thick white fabric pulled up around his ears.

For someone so petite, the raven-haired boy can sure take up a lot of space.

Liam stares at the TV screen through heavy lids, bored. He can feel the steady pull of exhaustion on his currently droopy eyes. He yawns, giving up on the movie and sliding down the bed's head-board until he's lying flat on his back, his head on a rather uncomfortable pillow.

Today had been a long day; vocal practice for the next show on their third international tour, song-writing (which inevitably led to another argument with management) and paper work with his boys. By the time him and Zayn had come back to their room, they had both been irritant and frustrated.

Liam had watched the other three boys walk back to the room they shared, Harry and Louis already planning their night out, and Niall gracefully taking the brunt of the third wheel.

Liam had gone over to their room for a while, and kept Niall company, while Harry and Louis changed and giggled (and loudly made out) in the bathroom, much to his and Niall's initial chagrin, and eventual amusement.

He'd come back to find Zayn happily cuddled up in their blankets, looking like a rather large (and dashing) burrito, smelling of jasmines, half asleep with the TV blaring out a colorless foreign romance.

Trying to focus on the present, Liam closes his eyes and decides to practise his slowly developing habit; meditation --He's discovered that taking a bit of time to himself every now and then helps him deal with the constant rise in the fame of 'One Direction', even though the boys mock him for it, even though it's been three years since they had been manufactured on the raw platform of 'X-Factor'.

He breathes in, inhaling the familiar woodiness of the _'Autumn Musk'_ candle that Zayn still insists on burning in every hotel room. He lets the voices of the actors blur together and the peacefulness of their shared room wash over him.

He tries to hone his sensory awareness, alternatively focussing on the quiet voices of the characters in the 80s film, the dulled out sound of a buzzing night-life in the city outside and the slow breathing of the boy beside him..

After about twenty minutes, he hears Zayn switch off the television.

Liam opens his eyes, turning his head to his left and unabashedly admiring the general prettiness of the one Zayn Malik.

"I wonder.. are the lads back yet?" Zayn asks, his voice soft and comfortable, the way it rarely is with strangers (the way it always is, with Liam, but who's keeping track? Not Liam. Certainly not Liam:) ).

Liam thinks about Harry and Louis' tendency to spend hours upon hours drunkenly wandering the dimly-lit, narrow alleys of a new city at midnight and Niall's relief at finally having the room to himself, away from the overly affectionate couple, and snickers.

"Don't think so mate, you know what they're like, they're _'HarryAndLouis'._ Besides, think of Neil."

Zayn laughs his adorable laugh, and Liam stares. He loves the way Z's eyes light up and disappear when he laughs. He loves the clear, ringing sound and he _especially_ loves the bright, doe-eyed sparkle in his amber eyes afterward.

"True that. Poor sod." Zayn chuckles, clearly amused by the Niall's constant misery.

Zayn adjusts his position in the bed, snuggling closer to Liam.

"Body heat." He mutters drowsily in way of explanation.

Liam smiles ruefully. He knows all about Zayn's constant quest for people with body heat, being very used to waking up in the middle of the night with Zayn's slim fingers wrapped around his waist, and his dark hair tickling Liam's face.

After a few more minutes of companiable silence, Liam feels, for a split second, a light, feathery touch, trailing along his arm. He shivers involuntarily. The owner of the finger, upon realizing he's accidentally ventured into unsure territory, immediately retracts his hand and materializes by Liam's side.. well, closer than he had been before.

"Cold?" Zayn asks Liam in his soft, raspy, honey-like voice, generously offering some of the blanket he'd previously been hoarding and bunching up around himself.

Liam hates (and _loves)_ how Zayn can do that. Fleeting touches that leave Liam a shivery, flustered mess. Funny how Zayn's touchy nature never affects the other boys the way it affects Liam... funny how Louis' (or Harry's.. or Niall's) touchy nature never affects Liam the way Zayn's does.. but that's not what Liam was thinking about. Totally not.

Doing an excellent job at unknowingly rescuing Liam from his own intrusive thoughts: _"Leeyum."_ Zayn murmurs, rolling his name around the way no one else can.

"Hmm?"

"D'you ever get jealous?"

Liam is surprised. Zayn is jealous? Of what? ...or _whom?_

"Of them.." Z speaks quietly.. and haltingly, seeming to read Liam's mind "...Harry and Louis?"

Liam blanches at the abrupt, dangerous turn in the conversation.

Is Zayn jealous? Of Louis? Or Harry? _What for?_ Because they are _together?_ He feels a small flare of something unpleasant in his gut.

"Zee..I didn't know you felt that way fo-" He starts out slowly, still confused but trying to sound sympathetic, when all he feels is an inexplicable envy. Is Zayn crushing on Louis? Or Harry? The thought is enough to madden Liam.

"You know, cause they've been together all this time...?" Zayn cuts him off, which in itself is surprising. Zayn _never_ cuts Liam off.

Liam opens his mouth to answer, but no words emerge. He doesn't understand where this is going.

Turning his head back to his left, he finds himself looking directly into Zayn's glowing golden irises, and large pupils. "You know you can talk to me about things... yeah babe?" He asks the other boy, his voice small and unsure.

"Yeah.." Zayn breathes, looking at Liam expectantly. "Don't you ever wish.. that you had that with someone? That permanent... _something?_ That they seem to have?"

Liam feels strangely uncomfortable upon realizing what Zayn wants.. but he can't understand what he wants from _Liam.._ reassurance? Sympathy? Solidarity? Of course Liam wants that 'something'. Of course he wants that happily ever after.. and as much as he wants to tell Zayn the same, he doesn't think he can do it without giving away _whom_ he wants his happily ever after with. Now baffled more than ever, he chooses to address the part of the question that he _does_ understand, and _can_ answer, without breaking his own heart. Taking a deep breath..

"We don't know that it's permanent-" He says honestly, and bluntly, referencing that which the fans called 'Larry Stylinson'; Louis and Harry's relationship shrouded in secrecy.. "-but for their sake and the band's, I fucking hope it is." He ends on a solemn note.

"Seriously? You don't think it's permanent?" Zayn exclaims, rather than asking, his eyebrows shooting towards his hairline in astonishment.

"Hey! That's not wh-"

"Dude. Have you seen the way they _look_ at each other? Like the other has painted the sky blue and hung the stars and then some? They're forever. They're soulmates." Zayn finishes, making a surprised face at his own little outburst.

Liam stares, a sugar sweet smile slowly making it's way onto his features.

"Soulmates?" He asks quietly, feeling his eyes crinkle with fondness.

Zayn makes a non-committal sound, fingers picking on the quilt, eyes still staring dead-on, at Liam.

"You believe in soulmates?" He asks again, trying to appear mostly unaffected.

"The... concept is _..intriguing."_ Zayn admits, growing silent after.

Liam wants to hurl himself off a cliff.

Of course crushing on Zayn isn't enough. He just _HAS_ to find out that the only person he's been wanting for these past three years believes in _Soulmates aka the very thing Liam strongly believes in too._

Yeah, that's endeared him to Liam _even_ further, making said unrequited lover's pulse race and intestines squirm. Liam isn't sure he can afford liking this boy any more than he already does.

The universe really does hate him.

Zayn is still observing Liam, picking at a single loose thread in the blanket.

Sometimes, in moments like these, with Zayn's soulful eyes carefully trained on his chocolate ones, Liam finds himself fantasizing about baring his heart to Zayn.. telling him exactly how he feels...

Sometimes, like right now, when Zayn seems to be just an inch too close, looking at him for just a second too long, his eyes boring into Liam's very soul, Liam finds himself thinking, believing, that maybe.. just maybe, his feelings are not entirely unrequited...

But he won't act upon them. _Can't_ act upon them. He respects Zayn too much, values his friendship too much. Values Zayn too much to give him up for something potentially trivial... something that might not even last.

So day by day, hour by hour, as he looks at Zayn, observes his little quirks and mannerisms, navigates his various moods, maps his tattoos and curves, and memorizes his different laughs, he convinces himself that his infatuation is temporary... that it is a fruitless, fleeting attraction.

Not liking the direction his thoughts are headed, and trying to diffuse the heavy atmosphere in the room (in his head, mostly), he inquires.. "Do you like someone?" ..trying to sound relaxed, trying to ignore the _not-very-sudden_ burst of jealousy in his system... this is what mates should do yeah? Talk about crushes and all that without getting jealous?

Upon registering the question, Zayn lets out a slightly exaggerated, forlorn sigh, confirming Liam's worst fear.

Liam swallows, tasting bitterness on his tongue. "Who?" He asked softly. Who is it that has stolen _his_ Zayn's heart? Taken away from Liam, any hope, any chance, he might have? Who is it that has Zayn looking all poetic and lovelorn, sighing like one of the furnaces from Shakespeare's poetry?

These are urgent questions Liam needs immediate answers to.

Zayn, appearing to be deep in thought, sighs one more time, the usually welcome sound falling sourly on Liam's ears, because _context._

"I... can't tell you _who_ it is. But, if you want.. if you don't mind, if you _really_ don't mind... (This is where he side-eyes Liam in a strange way) ...I can tell you what he's like."

Liam nods, presently staring at Zayn's love-sick face with a rapidly sinking heart.

"Well, for starters, he's _absolutely dreamy.."_ Zayn laments elegantly. "...I don't think he likes me back.. why should he?" Liam can immediately think of a list of reasons _'he'_ should. This is enough reason to believe that Liam is superior to this other _'him'..._ right? Right..?

"He's like a Disney Prince... no, a superhero!" Zayn continues, sounding delighted and very _very_ fond indeed. "..He's charming, and polite and just the sweetest, and everyone adores him...for good reason."

Liam is, admittedly intrigued. After all, who is this man? This supposedly magnificent _Man.._ who's managed to turn the emotionally stoic Zayn Malik into a mushy, star-struck schoolgirl?

Liam is intrigued, yes. But mostly, Liam is just sick.

"He sounds a bit boring, if I'm being honest." Liam interrupts loudly, and honestly, (definitely honest yeah, for sure.. he's just looking out for Zayn! For entirely selfless reasons!!) completely disregarding the evident jealousy seeping through his own voice. "..Probably can't keep up with you. Probably not good enough." His voice sounds moody.

Zayn glances at him curiously, regarding him with a seriousness Liam hadn't expected and didn't _want_ to be scrutinised with.

"That's what I thought at first...but once you get to know him, he's a bit mental. He likes superheroes too!"

"So do I. Sorry to rain on your parade mate, but he doesn't sound _that_ special."

"Are you alright Leeyum? You seem a bit pissed.."

"Perfectly fine, thank you." Liam sniffs, feeling petty, and covetous.

"Oh and he's... well in simple words, he's pretty _hot."_ Zayn whispers, appearing to be excited.

Liam stares, deciding, after a while; that he is _actually_ going to throw up.

"I don't think he realizes just how gorgeous he is..." Zayn continues whispering, sounding sickeningly happy to be talking about his apparently "hot" crush. He makes it feel like Liam is being let in, on a secret... which he supposes he is. "I'd do him any day... or let him do me.." Zayn winks.

Liam feels the blood in his body rush downward at the mental image created by "do me". He is positively alight with jealousy and arousal, which is, maybe, not the most satisfying combination.

"Oh I don't think he could handle you.. still sounds like a bit of a bore." He tells Zayn, sounding a bit manic.

Zayn grins again, looking up at him through his dark lashes, and Jesus fuck, Liam is _enticed._ "I'm pretty sure he could. He gets very... _possessive."_ He says, waggling his brows.

Liam feel disgusted at the thought of another man getting possessive over Zayn, another man keeping suitors away from Zayn..another man _touching_ him, _pleasuring him.._

"Do I know this bloke?" He asks briskly.

"Oh yes, you know him..really well I'd say. Better than I do."

This confuses Liam. There aren't many people that both him and Zayn are very clo- he gasps..no...it can't be...but it is. It is, isn't it?

Feeling defeated, and with bitter resignation, Liam declares:

"You like Niall."

"..."

Zayn bursts out laughing. _"NEIL?_ Oh god. Oh god Leems.." He is positively wheezing. "Noo! Dear God! What goes on in that head of yours?! _Niall!!"_

Despite the obvious relief, Liam feels his ears burn, the heat slowly travelling to his face and neck.

Zayn looks over at him, and his laughing stops abruptly.

"And you know... when he gets embarrassed..? He turns completely pink, and his eyes go all wide. It's _adorable.."_

 _Ugh._ Liam doesn't want to know anything else about this other guy.

"And sometimes, he can be really fucking dense."

"Why do you like him then?" Liam challenges. "Smart is sexy. There are tons of smart blokes out there... prettier too, I'm sure." He adds as an afterthought.

"Oh but he _IS_ smart... just.. clueless, sometimes."

Liam rolls his eyes.

"So he is possessive then? You like your men.. demanding?" He asks, trying to narrow down the list of possible dudes. If it's not Niall... then who...?

"Oh yes. Well, I'm possessive too.. so that balances itself out. I want to feel.. needed, y'know?"

"And you're sure he doesn't like you back?"

"Oh I'm positive. But..." With that lingering word, Zayn rolls over from under the covers, automatically spinning closer to Liam, almost sitting up, with his upper body balanced over his tattooed forearms. "Sometimes..." he continues, staring at Liam with his huge eyes, rather intensely. "..Sometimes I feel that he wants me back... sometimes, I feel he gets jealous.." he stares at Liam some more, eyes roaming over his face, searching for.. what? Liam feels his own pathetic heart race and his face flush because of that _one_ stare. "...but that could just be my imagination, making me see what i want." Zayn completes, flopping onto his back again, away from Liam, sounding disappointed.

"Why don't you test it?" Liam asks, feeling a bit stupid. Why was he giving Zayn ideas? Why couldn't he just let it rest? Did he _want_ Zayn to win over that guy? Fuck no.

"Test it?" Zayn asks, seemingly bewildered.

"Yeah.. like.. put it out there... let him know you're interested, available.." _Shut up Payne, shut up.. please._

"And how would you have me do that?" Zayn asks, his tone sounding playful, but a bit foreign, a bit flirty. "How do you want me _Leeyum?"_ He purrs.

Liam chokes, going breathless for a second or two. He knows that Zayn is asking for advice.. to pursue that _other_ man. That _other_ guy. But the way he put that statement out there makes Liam a bit dizzy with it's _many many implications._

"Uhm.. dunno.. like flirt with him I guess?" He suggests weakly, trying not to give his currently useless brain any ideas.

Zayn on the other hand, seeming to have no regard for Liam's poor heart, scoots closer, sitting up on his knees, with his legs folded out under him, facing Liam.

"Show me."

Liam, in an attempt to put some distance between himself and the stunning dark-haired demon in front of him, clumsily shifts himself away from Zayn, closer to the head-board.

"Show me Liam... teach me." Z murmurs, and Liam almost gives in, hearing his breathy voice. "...you must have practice... no one can resist you.. teach me your ways." Zayn continues in the same low voice, coming closer, beginning to corner Liam against the head-board, reminding Liam very much of a predator stalking it's prey.

"No one can resist me? Not even you?" Liam jokes... well, tries to joke, knowing, that, with every word he speaks, he is digging a deeper hole for himself. And if his voice almost gives out in between... and if he thinks he briefly sees Zayn's eyes light up, well, no one has to know that..

Zayn cocks his head to the side, happy crinkles forming around his honey colored irises. It might be just Liam, but Z seemed to be directly in front of him now.

"Maybe.." Zayn answers. It doesn't matter. Liam does not remember the question. How can he? When the only boy he's wanted for three years is inches away from him, staring at him, flirting with him... Liam knows it is all a joke, all for practice, but he can't help but imagine what could happen next, what Z would do next... what he would let Liam do next...

After what seems like an eternity of silent conversation, Liam thinks he sees the light-heartedness leave Zayn's eyes, being replaced by something heavier, something darker, something far more significant...

Rolling his eyes impatiently, Zayn murmurs: "It's you. It's you goddamit. Always been you." ..his voice is low and throaty, and _needy.._

And Liam can't feel, he can't think. What even is air, when Zayn Malik himself is five inches away from him, looking at Liam like _he_ means the world to _him._

So all that in the beginning? All those compliments? All those pretty words? That was about him? That's how Zayn sees Liam? But he doesn't have time to think, because now, Liam is certain he's dreaming, he has to be dreaming, because he's sure Zayn is moving closer, if that's even possible. And wow, his eyes are so so much more luminous and filled with color up close; the tiny reflective golden particles are mesmerizing and Liam is being sucked in.. the scent of Jasmines is intensifying and slowing down his brain and he feels intoxicated, but he can't seem to look away from the rings of gold and amber... and now, Liam can feel that their lips are almost touching, and he can't breathe.

Zayn shuts his eyes, softly, and Liam feels something brush his cheekbones... lashes, Z's lashes..

_Zayn..._

...who is now whispering against Liam's lips _-"Come on then..."-_ Encouraging him, emboldening him, _-"..come on..."-_ setting fire to his bones and sending lightning down his spine with a last, nearly inaudible _-"..come on...."-_

And suddenly, Liam comes to life. Comes to life like an old clockwork factory being switched on after decades of lifelessness.

He surges forward, removing what distance was left between their lips, and he can feel Zayn grin, wild and feral. Zayn, who apparently kisses like a force of nature, and tastes sweet and smoky. Zayn, who puts his hands square on Liam's chest, and _feels_ his heart stutter and faint. Zayn, who retaliates with equal force, getting up on his knees, brows knit together, pushing Liam completely against the soft headboard.

And Liam is soaring over the moon and weeping with the stars.

But no.. oh no no.. Liam is definitely not going to let him control this... not when he's been mentally fucked over at least a hundred times, burning with envy for the last thirty minutes.

Moving his mouth rather aggressively against Z's softer lips, he flips them around, pinning his counterpart against the headboard, finding great satisfaction in Zayn's resulting gasp. And Zayn, never one to back down, kisses Liam even harder, with a bruising force. And Liam lets him, opting to drown under the waves of pleasure and pain.

After a few minutes of what feels like forever, they break apart, and Liam gazes at Zayn, at his pupils blown wide open, and his flushed cheeks, and his swollen lips..

"How long?" He demands, knowing that Zayn knows what he means.

"Ever since I saw you at McDonalds that night." Zayn breathes, his eyes shining.

And Liam is amazed.

"You are beautiful..." Zayn tells him, taking Liam's hands into his own, and lightly pressing his lips to them- "...and _really really_ smart, like.. sexy smart.." -pressing another feathery kiss on Liam's stubbled jaw- "..and brave.." -another one on Liam's cheekbone- "so _fucking_ brave...and so _fucking_ clueless." -a last one on Liam's forehead.

And Liam can't move, enraptured by the boy in front of him.. telling him that _he's_ beautiful? And _he's_ brave?

Liam need Zayn to shut up now, or he might cry.

"Shut up now, or I might cry."

Zayn laughs, the clear, happy sound ringing through the room.

"Well, I'll tell you another time then... all these things I've been saving up, for the past three years."

Zayn looks at Liam adoringly, and Liam melts, deciding, that one day, he too will tell this beautiful man, all the things, every word, he's been saving up, practising in front of the mirror. All the words, melodies and memories, everything Zayn's ever made him feel.

But for now... well..

"You're a good kisser by the way." Liam mentions casually, hoping Z will pick up the hint.

Zayn grins like the devil- "Practice makes perfect. And I'm nowhere near perfect... _yet."_ -and before he knows it, they're kissing again, and Zayn is laughing, and Liam is one with the moon...

..and maybe, just maybe, they will be alright.

*******

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever One Direction fanfiction, and it's a bit rushed, because I was OVERWHELMED by the Ziam feels, and had to get this outta my system. So tell me what you think :) ?? If you enjoyed it, please leave kudos or comments!! 
> 
> Have a beautiful day darling❤
> 
> xx


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